#11 Drifting out to Sea, Freezing in the Garden

Meditation Entry #11 – drifting out to Sea

Couldn’t face my step today which is semi-outdoors. It was just too cold with ice everywhere. Maybe it was the cold but there was a nautical vibe to my meditation today which I describe below. These feelings come on their own and I try to work with what I have in the moment.

I tried the back porch for my meditation today. I had a look at my usual front step but it was rather later in the morning and deadly cold. As I mentioned before I can get self conscious on the front step if there are people on the street or that potential.

The above pic from my back garden was the broken circles formed by me tipping out the bird’s water bowl. In the coldest of days here the water in the bowl would be pure ice so not quite there yet but bad enough. The ice from the previous day had remained.

Subdued in the Garden

As I settled to my soft chair I noticed there was still plenty going on in the garden. Spotted a lollipop in the higher foliage, one of the pigeon pair looking subdued, a fluffed out Robin, blackbird and the squirrels.

When I began I was wrapped up in my quilt with a hot water bottle. I had mislaid my woolen hats but I had an old white towel on hand which I put on my head. I must have looked like some kind of mad mullah or like Aleister Crowley in Egypt possibly.

Cosmic Fail

I began to breath through my nose and look into the mid distance eyes slightly down Zazen style then got a mild nose bleed. High blood pressure is a thing in my family might have to check my diet.

Returning to the meditation I tried to do the Cosmic Mudra which I had been reading about. It interested me that there was a similar notion to Castenada’s notion of ‘hiding‘. The point of the Mudra was to close your energy to outer world and ground you. I gave up on that because the arms on the chair interfered with that. Would have to work something out for another day.

Waves on a Seashore – freezing in the garden

Settling back again I tried to stay in my moment with the breathing. That’s all I needed to do. Was I being expectant of the next breath ? Yes. I calibrated, so I was just experienced the process happening almost as a bystander. As I hung onto the rythme of my breathing I couldn’t help likening it to the waves on a seashore.

As I held onto my breathing I felt myself drifting further and further out. I knew I could hold onto that all day, it felt good. This really worked would have to remember it for another day. In a way it was what the leaves had shown me but a little harder because breathe was more intermittent and undulating when senses begin crossing over.

. Returning to the account a year after I wonder how much of our lived reality is constructed within the hamster wheel of our consciousness sometimes.

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