Meditation Diary #11
As I settled to my step it was cold and I had slept longer than usual. I had been feeling rough and had purposely slept in. Now the street was more awake than I liked for my meditation. Also my car was in for a scary MOT that was awfully late so I could not use it to block the view from the street. I felt a bit self conscious sitting in my favorite spot with my eyes closed so I decided to try something different. I have heard that you can walk and meditate, ride a horse, do chores. It is all in your approach and mindfulness. So I decided to just sit quietly with my eyes open letting thoughts and events in my vicinity just pass through like my usual practice. To my surprise as I describe below I was tested.
First Time Every Time
I closed the door a little so it wasn’t so cold. I was well wrapped and Ok. I listened to the sounds outside. The birds were rather more lively than my previous session. I had been using power tools early in the week and I became aware of my tinnitus. The tools really kicks it off. Must get something else on top of the ear plugs.
My thoughts again slipped to the notion of ‘hiding’ described in a previous entry. Seems that the Castenada material was more significant to me than I realised. I reflected on the notion of being cocooned from whatever was out there. The way it was described was always twilight to night, not early morning. Even so I tried to settle myself down and appear as nothing to whatever creatures were around. Just as I felt myself accomplishing this a familiar black cat rocked up.
Being Impeccable, in a small way
Normally I would shoo him away because I don’t like him hassling my birds. But today had to be different I tried to stick to my plan to be as nothing, to act as what Castenada’s mentor described as ‘impeccable‘. You might describe this as sticking with intensity to what you are doing in the moment.
So I just sat and watched doing nothing, or rather ‘not doing’ anything if you prefer. The cat seemed puzzled, came right up to my door and put its paws on the step. It pressed its face to the pane of the partially open door while I just watched. He went back down the drive the way he had come looking back, visibly spooked. For all I know he did this every time I sat there, I would not know with my eyes closed.
In a way what happened today showed me the difference between my normal behaviour and what I do when I mediate.
If you think about the title it may seem a little contradictory, but it is valid. Each time you meditate each moment is never quite the same even though it may seem so.