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Diary Entry #7
If anyone is looking to break writer’s block or is short of ideas, try attempting to meditate and failing. The influx of inspiration and re-connection with different parts of your life’s experiences will not leave you wanting. Liken it to trying to lift a heavy weight and not getting it off the ground, it is different from not attempting to lift it at all.
I took the day off today because I have a heavy cold, didn’t want to push it. Only breathing out of right nostril because all blocked up with a worrying cough. So I will be trying to keep warm, fasting, working on website and maybe try and clear the drive. Currently it is full of cider making equipment, leaves, old fridges and the remainder of a house clearance, but I digress.
As I settled on my step it was still dark, still and misty. There were halos around the street lights; very Noir. Today there was slight rustling of leaves, moisture and distant birdsong.
Don’t think I did very well meditating today, but I lost an hour in a snap. Time can be very slippery. My new found synesthesia was still in place, no surprise, it was there all the time. There is no way I can get it back in Pandora’s Box now. I played around with it listening to different sounds. Previously I just hadn’t unravelled it in my consciousness. Increased awareness has got to be a feature of regular meditation practice. Being mindful with my eyes closed and the sounds of nature around me was enough to clarify.
A Third Eye Thing ?
Can’t presume how it is with other people but with me synesthesia has integrated with my sight in a way. I am theorising that seeing what I hear is rather a schematic and broad brush of what is going on around me. Maybe it is a third eye thing. Science nowhere near acknowledging chakras. Not even Chi. They only believe in what they can prove which imparts a massive flaw in understanding because there are so many things that exist that they cannot prove. Like living under a very solid rock. All this was running around my mind, not doing very well today. I got up because my legs were going numb and I made another cup of tea.
Of late when I wake in the night I have taken to concentrate on my third eye instead of a more sexual vibe as I return to dreaming. I wake up in the morning feeling like a train station. It is difficult to describe without being surreal; a very spacious feeling. Give it a try.
Finally another distant memory unlocked, why now ? Maybe twenty years ago I had just woken up and went back to dozing but something was different that today. I had the feeling of beginning to fall asleep but then had the sensation of going under or through something. Then it was incredible. The closest way I can describe it is ‘the music of the spheres’ the music amazed me. I didn’t want to leave and tried to hold myself there a few more moments more before I snapped awake. This particular experience in my memory has never happened since which I realise is often the case with these odd dumbfounding phenomena. As to the ‘why now’ of it maybe my engine semi-submerged in my subconscious (everyones’ subconscious ?) is suggesting something. Could it be that the state just after sleep is similar to the meditative state, and a million of such pathways could be open to us, with just a little push ?
I opened my eyes, did not do very well today. Then I was startled by a squirrel crossing my line of vision. Enough for today.